After everything she said, the Doctor limited his movements to just a shake of his head. “Life with me is dangerous. It was.. better that way.” He couldn’t look up to her, not right now. Not with this lie which made his hearts ache. “You might not think tou need your mother, but after she’s gone, you will miss her. I’m just doing you a favour.”
He tapped his fingers on the console. He was trying not to thing on what he was feeling, not right now. Being racional was the best solution now,for both of them.
"We’ve got a work to do here. I’m willing to help, so what do you want me to do for you?" He sighed, finally raising his look up to her.
- Better? For whom was it better Doctor, hmm? - **Rose first looked at him stunned, and then she spoke again.** - Look at me! For God’s sake! Look me into my eyes and say that this was the best for us! - **Rose had no idea that he will be able to do it or not; but she secretly hoped that he wouldn’t.** - Favor? Doctor, look at me! Please, don’t do this with me… You showed me a better way… to live. I know it will be always dangerous, but I don’t care ‘cause it will be a better life too at the same time, isn’t it? - **Simple question. When he returned the conversation in another direction, she cleared her throat before answering. Rose knew that she was asking for big things from him; but Rose needed his help before it’s too late.** - I-I… he need your help, that… you’re the Doctor, you know… you just… Can you? Can you fix him? Can you heal John? We’re running out of time. - **Rose seemed increasingly nervous.*
He snorted with a smile at her, but got himself to work at piloting the TARDIS. It was funny on how ironic her sentence sounded now. What he thought once was going to make him happy turned out to cause a total different feeling.
But her question was something he didn’t expect. The Doctor slowly stopped moving his hands so fast and took a long, deep breath before looking up at her.
"You had a family waiting for you. Jackie, Peter and the baby. Which should probably not be a baby anymore. I couldn’t keep you away from them."
- Instead you kept me away from yourself? But the whole time all I wanted was YOU! This… here… with you! - **She was angry at him for this reason many years, and now this thing just flunked out of the girl. Her Doctor left her twice and it was really hard for her. Rose might not told for the right person, but she was quite sure that her other self must have felt the same way about this.** - I have grown up, I should live my own life. I can’t live forever in the neck of my mother, don’t you think? Mum finally happy with Pete and Tyler, without me. I’m just ruining the idyllic overall picture. - **But in the end, when she released her anger, Rose felt ashamed. This Doctor can’t do about what happened to them, it’s not his fault.** - Sorry… khm… I shouldn’t have this… I’m so sorry, Doctor. It’s not your fault, it’s HIS. John is dying because of him. He did this to me… us, not you. I… I’m just confused. You looks like him, act like him, think like him; but I really hope not feel like him. -
"Well, when I say an accident… I crashed” He summarised what he had intended to be a really complex answer in two words. He had always done things that way; it wouldn’t be much of a surprise to her, and he got to reply without giving any further explanations.
It had to work. It was a goddamned good idea.
"You can see the TARDIS got damaged…" He sighed, looking around again. It was rather obvious that it had been a serious crash… if it had been a crash. He dismissed that thought with a smile of his own "But don’t worry, I’m doing just fine"
He hesitated. But he had to risk something if he wanted to learn something.
"And… what about you? I haven’t seen you since…"
- I’m glad to hear this. When I saw the damage to the TARDIS, I thought first you were hurt. - **Aurora smiled, but when he inquired about her, she paused a bit.** - With me? Not much happened, just the usual. Daleks, weeping angels… and I wanted to save Mum and Dad again; but my father prevented me, and sent me back to the future. So I am here. - **While she spoke, Aurora slowly walked up and stood very close to him. She looked down at the console, where her finger slowly drawn circles.** - …since I left my farewell message for you. I know, I promised when I left your TARDIS; that I’ll wait until you want be with me too. But it looks like the fate wanted otherwise. - **Aurora tentatively stroked the left side of his face; but she dared not do more than that, lest too much be for him.** - Doctor, I have no idea how long you were alone or what happened with you; but I’m glad you changed your mind. -
When she hugged him, he didn’t move. The Doctor used all his forces to not hug her back. No, it would be worse to get close and see the woman he loved walking away with the other him. She wasn’t his Rose, and he must remember that.
"It’s okay." The Time Lord managed to speak out when she stepped away. "I will help you, Rose. I could never refuse I request of help coming from you, it’s something from who I am. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy." Showing his feelings wasn’t something he allowed himself right now. It was time to be the man he’d always claimed to be. The man who was always okay.
**He didn’t hug back her and it hurt her.** He isn’t my Doctor. **Trying to remind herself to do so. But it was difficult, just as sensitively affected her this thing as if he would have been her Doctor. Rose felt that he didn’t tell her the whole truth; but she got used to him, that he often doesn’t reveal what he really feels. It seems some things never change, not really. Rose breathed deeply and forced herself to smile.** - Fine. I want to see happy you too Doctor. So… Shall we? - **Inquered, but then she changed her mind. She needed to know one thing.** - Doctor, can I ask you something? If John… If your clone didn’t born… Would you have taken me back to the parallel world or not? Could you have let me stay with you? -
"Well… you are with me now” He murmured with a bright smile.
Deep inside his mind, he was tracing connections between thoughts, discarding options. Who was she really? Who was he to her?
"So, how did you find me?" He raised an eyebrow and returned to the console, posing what he hoped was a safe question, simple enough not to reveal that he was pretending to know her. His fingers ran over the controls once more, finally setting the TARDIS’ course.
He had thought about Earth. He had spent an awful lot of time there; it shouldn’t be strange. But he couldn’t be sure. She probably knew Earth already, and maybe expected him to do something or go somewhere in particular as soon as they landed. He couldn’t know.
So, outer space it was. Dark, empty space. Away from anything she could possibly know… If they were flying around nothingness, however, she could start asking questions. He cleared his throat, ready to start building his alibi for any possible mistake.
"As you can see… I had an accident" He started, lowering his gaze "I don’t feel exactly well. I lost some time…" He looked at her again "Lots of gaps I can’t fill. I’m still wrapping my mind around some mixed memories. If I do or say anything something out of the ordinary, just… don’t worry"
- Yeah, I am. - **Aurora admitted with a bright smile. She looked at him with admiration on her face. It seemed so unbelievable for her… to be with her Doctor, together. Aurora was too enamored enough to notice something was wrong with him.** - Well… - **She used his father’s phrase in the same way, she couldn’t deny that she’s the Doctor’s daughter.** - …it was you. I mean dad. The Metacrisis Doctor, your clone that I be exact. So he… he send me back to the future… but this… - **Aurora raised her wrist and pointed to her Vortex Manipulator on it.** - …this stupid VM bracelet didn’t work again well, so I’m here now. What year is this anyway? - **Inquired, but the Doctor is distracted by the conversation in another direction. She remembered the broken glass of the TARDIS’ door.** - An accident? What happened exactly? Are you okay? - **She was filled with sincere concern.**
Aurora’s theme: Paramore - Ain’t it Fun
"Of course you can, come on!" He laughed, returning his attention to the controls as she finally stepped inside the ship. The door closed with a soft click behind her, and he couldn’t help but notice the scratches and cracks on the windows. He frowned, wondering if they’d be a problem. He started setting the new coordenates distractedly, and he suddenly realized he didn’t know where to go.
He looked at her out of the corner of the eye. Would she expect him to go to any specific place? It didn’t seem very likely, but he still had to be careful. He was still thinking about a destination obvious enough when he finally decided to answer her question.
"I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t sure if it was really you. Maybe I want you to come with me" He looked at her with the ghost of a smile curling his lips "Would you like that?"
**Aurora just watched and listened to the man she loved more than anything. She was aware that this man isn’t her father; and yet, Aurora couldn’t not love the Doctor… both of them, equally. Finally she smiled, and her irises’ colors turned into slowly pink then lilac. She was so happy right now, that this Doctor wanted her to come with him.** - Y-you really want me…? - **Inquiered, she was uncertain. It was hard to believe, that this isn’t a dream. Aurora wanted his love a long time ago.** - Of course I would. You and me… time and space… this was always, what I wanted… to be with you, Doctor. - **Aurora bit his lower lip and looked away in embarrassment, as if she saw something very interesting on the wall. She didn’t dare to look at him, because she feared that this Doctor will reject her again as the other Doctors in the past, when she was honest and told them about her feelings. That she would wake up from this dream, but she didn’t want to.**
The truth was, he did believe her. The Doctor knew Rose wasn’t doing it on purpose, but this fact didn’t make the pain get smaller. Not a bit. And her words, the long speech that followed was even worse. Having Rose Tyler herself telling him she loved him again, just like that time in the beach. And again, he couldn’t do anything. Cause now this wasn’t his Rose. She was so close, yet so far away at the same time. Each time the word ‘love’ came out of her mouth, his hearts stopped beating for a fraction of a second, and they seemed to break into teeny tiny sharp pieces that were hurting him from the inside.
By the time his rose his eyes to look at the blonde’s face, tears ran down his face as he took a deep breath. But the Time Lord quickly wiped them out, and recovered himself.
"She is not with me, and that’s all you need to know." He answered, turning his back at her and focusing his attention on the console. "And if you want help to save your Doctor, I’ll help you. Cause it’s what I do, right? And also— I know how much you love him."
**It’s just so… so.. she can’t find words to describe, what she see. The Doctor was so shattered and provided a poignant sight, that she was able to do one thing: to comfort him at any cost. Suddenly, before he could even recovered himself; Rose ran to him and hugged him tightly to herself.** - I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to… - **Whispered brokenly, before she started to cry too. Rose is always sensitive to the environment, other people’s suffering will never leave her cold. She never stays insensitive to others, especially if her Doctor was involved.** - … please, forgive me Doctor! -
**But when he was spoken, she felt that she shouldn’t force the issue. Rose was surprised, when he changed his mind and wanted to help her.** - Doc… Doctor? - **Inquired him uncertainly.** - Can you? I don’t want to force you with this… this isn’t your job, you know? It’s my Doctor’s. If you… if you don’t want to help, I understand. But if you want to help me… help us, I will be forever grateful to you for it. -